Some are of the opinion that children with problems are the problem. I flatly disagree. If children were born equipped with the experience and resource of their parents, or if they bore their own parents, I might hold the child responsible.
But every child, nevertheless, seeks order and security. Just as a fire security system sounds the alarm, so also children announce their fear and insecurity. The alarm itself is a call to responsible action, but it cannot quench the fire. So also, children practically announce their concern, and they expect their parents to act decisively to resolve the matter.
Children do not ‘act out’ because they are brats. Children do not misbehave because they like the results. Children do not abuse one another because they enjoy harming others. Children do not lie because deception is profitable. They do it because they are desperately shouting, “Code RED, Code RED!”
Just as a drowning man might clutch at his rescuer, or fight him off, children rarely appear to appreciate the parent who steps in to provide structure and direction. In fact, he may become even more unruly, screaming out his defiance. Why?
Just as man seeks a god greater than himself, the child wants to rest quietly, fully confident in the stability, security, and wisdom of his parents. If a little temper-tantrum can throw mommy into a tailspin, where can security be found?If childish manipulation has daddy wrapped around his little finger in an instant, in whom can he confide?
Children are passionate about security, and they will stop at nothing to get it.
Thank them for it.